It's not like I rub my talent in people's faces, which would be egotistical. Somehow I've linked this teaching ability (take the leap with me) to the idea that I may get attached to students liking me. Well, students usually do like me, but in all honesty, I'm much more attached to the idea that they have to learn something than they have to like me. Regardless, liking your teacher is not a prerequisite for staying in the course.
This past semester was magical for me on many levels. The students I was teaching, some familiar and some new, were reaching new levels of curiosity, achievement, and understanding of the material I was teaching. I felt like I may have just entered a golden age of my teaching career because I feel like I more deeply applied nuanced individual teaching to my students in ways that supported them to soar in the material! Witnessing their growth in acting as performers and as people was a gift and a delight!
And then I started to wonder about wanting them to like me too much, in a similar vein to my ego wanting great reviews as an actor. Though the result is not the same thing, I somehow tangled approval in my mind to both types of reactions to me. As a result, I was aware that I was creating a space where I would not allow myself to enjoy the relationships of the students as much as I wanted to because I was afraid I would become egotistical and NEED the adoration of my students.
Upon great reflection over the duration of this past semester, I've come to realize that confidence is not egotism. Joy is not arrogance. Trust is not dependance or validation, it's a special event that occurs when people have respect for each other. I want to take back the moments of holding back joy!!! I delight in my students and I revel in my successes as a teacher. I promise myself to not confuse these ideas again in the future. I promise to unleash my joy!
This is my foremost New Years' resolution! 2015 is going to be GREAT!
Copyright 2014 Dr. Heather Corwin
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