Anxiety Dreams

Want to know when I know I'm doing too much?  I start to problem solve in my dreams OR I have anxiety dreams.  My favorite one lately had to do with my child's daycare provider.  I dreamed they called me to ask if I wanted my child to continue in the program.  The tell-tale sign that the communication was not real was the fact that they told me if I didn't let someone know by next week that my child would simply not be allowed to attend anymore.  They just don't operate like that.

But today, just in case, I asked if someone had called me to ask about my daughter's enrollment.  Knowing I was probably imagining things did not stop me from making sure my daughter was going to stay at this great daycare.  My feeling was right, it was a dream.

So I started to think about what might cause a dream like this...  The answer rolled around in me: Anxiety born from the idea that I'm not enough. Now it's not often I grapple with this personal theme in this way.  What struck me about this dream is that this theme seems to be trickling onto what I perceive as a great opportunity for my daughter.  Even if my personal theme is NOT trickling on to my daughter, I want to make sure it doesn't.

So what am I going to do about it?  Go back to my amazing therapist and work on myself.  When I'm a healthier person, all who come into contact with me can enjoy me more.  Conversely, I can enjoy them more too!  I know I'm at the end of a long road with my Ph.D. coursework ( it's almost complete!); the road has taken a toll on me.  I'm tired, you see, from doing too much.  When I'm tired, I look to the resources around me for support.  Therapy, here I come!!!

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

Eleanor Roosevelt spoke to the heart of every dreamer with her quote above. How often are we encouraged to intermingle practicality with our dreams?

Can an actor really be a great actor if she is wondering how she's going to pay for her next meal? Sadly, artists of most genres are not valued in our culture. As evidenced by the National Endowment for the Arts becoming more of a figurehead than a grant-giving institution as well as our schools cutting arts programs. *sigh* These schools are creating tomorrow's leaders.

I firmly believe that giving people, young and old, the power to creatively express helps people find a voice to articulate their experiences -- which increases happiness because we feel heard. We often don't have words to communicate the state of mind we're in, so we say things like "blah." If big feelings don't have words, creative expression allows that feeling to be recognized and diffused just by sitting with the feeling for a while.

If you're having big feelings that seem all bottled up, get a cheap paint brush and some water and find the nearest concrete, then water-paint. I used to do this as a child and never knew it is also used for expression therapy. If you want to one-up that, go get some inexpensive water colors and some paper and see what you come up with.

Your dream and future may require a sprinkle of practicality, do it with fervor!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin