Shame. Can it sneak up on you?

It sure can!  Sometimes a small comment from a stranger can surprise me.  Sometimes those comments are kind, and sometimes they are embarrassing, sometimes they are carelessly mean and cutting remarks.  So how can you avoid the hurts when they happen?

Well, truth be told, you can't.  What you can do is know yourself, know when a button in you is being pushed, and commiserate with a good friend to take the sting out of the hurtful comments made. 

What did my husband do when he found out I was hurt?  He came to my side immediately.  Does your friend have to be your significant other?  NO.  Just someone who doesn't allow you to take yourself too seriously.

And do I now feel better?  Youbetcha.  Playing cards was a great move on his part too!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Window of Tolerance

Window Of Tolerance

Learning how to re-establish personal limits


We all walk around with our own tolenerance levels of how we take in the world and how we decide to interact in the world.  Pat Ogden has come up with the name "Window of Tolerance" because this window, like those in our homes, can open further than we exercise. 

How can we grow tolerance?  First, we have to recognize the way we interact in the world and how we prefer to live.  Some people like to remain quiet and not engage with people, some will engage with people and avoid confrontation at all cost, some will engage and effectively communicate with people, and yet others react defensively and often with anger.  These are only a few categories, but figuring out your primary modus operandi in the world will allow you to investigate how to increase your tolerance and ability to handle situations you might otherwise shy away from presently.

Some tools to explore to increase your tolerance include meditation, therapy (talk, Rolfing, massage, skin care), motion (to release any pent up energies) which could inlcude

• yoga
• dancing
• working out
• walking
• stretching
• yard work or house work.

According to Ogden, humor is a lovely way to diffuse your visceral reaction to any deep aversions you may have.  Not necessarily in the moment, but when you're reflecting on your experience later, you may find poking a little fun at yourself a great way to take some of the sting out of the situation.  When you're able to see the lighter side of your humanity, you are better able to diffuse the intensity of emotion.  This way when you are up against your challenging moment, you can better

adapt and create the moment as you WOULD have it rather than

the moment controlling you.

To read more about healing trauma or discovering new ways of being two great books I suggest are:

The Healing Power of Emotion

and

Trauma and the Body by Pat Ogden

 

 

May your tolerance be high and you compassion for yourself be large!!!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

News-from-BodybyHeather-com

Click on the link below and read about the Window of Tolerance we all have as well as why organic food is a good healthy choice!!!

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/News-from-BodybyHeather-com.html?soid=1102168954922&aid=LRbbnNT7iSc

News from BodybyHeather.com

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/News-from-BodybyHeather-com.html?soid=1102168954922&aid=mt4GJWry9cQ&share=fblike

Birthdays... love 'em or hate 'em?

This is the month of many birthdays - including my husband (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) and my twin brother (well, my birthday too if you do the math).  So this got me to thinking about how people think about growing older. 

Here in L.A., looking 20 is still coveted, thought I wouldn't return to my 20's if you paid me!  They weren't bad, but my 30's are SOOOOOOOOO much better!  And, to be honest, if I was worried about aging, my birthday on the fateful September 11 certainly reminded me that aging is far better than some alternative.

So why do people hate getting older?  I love my wisdom, how life gets easier because I know myself better, how every year the skills that I have become more refined.  Sure, I may have some aches and pains now and then, but with healthy eating, exercise, and happiness, life is good. 

You may really not feel good about getting older, but I love every minute of my life.  I'm better now than I've ever been and that's a trend I see continuing long into my aged years.  How do you want to celebrate life?  I think I'll do as they do in India and wear my wrinkles with pride.  Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

A Time to Create

Many people liken the experience of creation of a work of art to that of birth.  The artist has the idea, the passion, the drive, and the chutzpa to see the inception to completion.  As we face the many challenges life gives, remembering the times of creation will help you find the power inside yourself to weather the inevitable challenges.

If you've been feeling a bit stagnant in your life or you feel you are at a crossroads, now is the best time to be still, listen inside, and let your heart tell you what is next for you to create.  Listening is not easy, nor is it for the faint of heart.  Sometimes your answers will not make others happy.  Sometimes your answers may not make sense to you - but you know that choice will be your choice and the right one for you.

If you believe and have a spiritual practice with Universe, Spirit, God or whatever you'd like to call it, that may deepen your empowerment and faith when challenges arrive and you are discouraged.  Community is a wonderful support and church (your choice) can offer that type of community.

Now, my friend, is the time to create your life as you see fit.  Find your heart, listen, and leap!  Leap into your creation!  Good luck!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Clean out the Relationship Closet!

There are times in everyone's life when a relationship has outlasted its welcome.  Sometimes those relationships are personal, sometimes business.  So what should be the deal breakers when deciding who's to go and who's to stay?

1. Do you feel your relationship is mutually respectful?
2. Do you trust the person or institution?
3. Do you look forward to interactions with the person?
4. Does the person own when s/he does something wrong?  Meaning, do they apologize or just make you feel bad because they ignore your feelings and needs?
5. Do you seem to have a core affinity for each other?
6. Do you dread hearing from them?
7. When you see it's them on caller ID, is your choice most often to let it go to voice mail even when you can take the call?
8. When you get off the phone or out of a meeting with the person, do you sigh with relief?

Check it out with your people.  Life is too short to invite anxiety into it!  Surround yourself with the people who LOVE you!!!