How Do You Connect With Family Who Lives Far Away?

In this day and age of computers, we have many more options than snail mail to connect with others.  The communication can take all sorts of forms, depending mostly on the computer savvy of the people interested in communicating with each other.

Skype.  You and family or friends can set up a free account with Skype that allows free international phone calls along with the capapbility to use a webcam so you can see each other as you talk.  This is especially fun with new babies who can't talk - but family can see the little cherub!

Flip Camera. This little handy camera is this generation's version of the home movie camera.  It's great for short movies or little one-sided excerpts from life that you can share through YouTube.  Very fun!

Email.  Not as personal and possibly not as exciting as receiving snail mail, but fast and convenient!  This is the most popular form of contemporary communication - perhaps even beating out texting (which many family members don't enjoy) as well as the telephone!

If you have a way you like to communicate with your family that isn't listed, feel free to add your suggestions!  The world gets smaller every day and keeping in touch with loved ones makes everyone's world a better place.

 Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Baby! Should We Have A Baby?

Is a career in the theatre or acting really a good match to becoming a parent?  Cost of living is high, stress is high, and auditions happen often with less than 24 hours notice.  Does an actor have to choose to act or to parent?  Some would agree to succeed you cannot have a family and others would not.  You have to decide you want a family and then go from there. 

If you choose to have a family, the bottom line seems to be your support system; create or have in place people who you can go to for help.  Now, this does not mean that you have to live next to your family, though that is a rather ideal situation for most people.  What you can do is create a co-op of other friends who are artists or new parents in your area and hope you can be mutually supportive for each other on a variety of fronts.  Going through pregnancy, the medical ins and outs of childbirth, to breast feed or not, babysitting, and the millions of decisions that can overwhelm new parents.  Everything is easier if you do it with other people.

As I evolve my lifestyle with my husband, I continually have to think outside the box to create what I need when it comes to the idea of starting a family.  The way I do this is examine what I desire as the result and determine a variety of options that would lead to the result.  Los Angeles makes this task challenging and possible because many others are in my boat.

Every decision has a consequence.  Will being a parent make me a better person?  I believe it will. Being a mom is something I would love!  I am lucky enough to believe firmly that my husband will be a phenomenal father.  Do I think parenting is hard?  Hah!  It's the hardest thing a person will have to do.  I'm up for the challenge!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Relationships. Does it all come back to Family?

Most psychologists agree that family is a human's core relationship system, and is the most profound and long reaching you can have in your life.  These relationships occur pre-verbally.  Consequently, met and unmet needs you have from these relationships go on to inform the rest of your life.  However, that does not mean you cannot create awareness around these patterns, how they affect you, and work on your ability to change them.

The most direct way to learn about these patterns, so that you can begin to address and practice changing your reactions, is in a group.  Most commonly, group therapy is ideal for this very reason.  Private therapy or one on one is amazing, but it focuses only on you and does not put you in direct relationship with other people as does group therapy.  For this reason, group therapy is reputed to be more effective than one on one therapy.

Family constellation work, introduced by Adler,  may also be a tool that your group uses.  Basically this works by using group members to play members of your family - sometimes beginning as a family portrait.  Through seeing your family this way and how you see yourself within that unit, you can more clearly determine how you participate in relationships, then and now. 

Regardless of embedded patterns of how a person operates, through awareness, courage, tenacity, and work, a person can evolve the creation of alternate choices in behavior that do result in happiness: in self and in relationships.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Spritiual Practice... Really?

Easter is Sunday and I am reminded of the millions of people who are commonly known as "C & E-ers."  These are the people who go to church on Christmas and Easter.  Right now, I am one of them.  Please note, I'm not about to make you feel guilty for ANYTHING - that's not how I roll.  The point here is that most psychologists agree that a spiritual practice, regardless of the belief system, is good to maintain happiness.

So what would this mean to you?  Every person needs to be included in a community.  This is how we are wired to live and succeed.  Ideally, our spiritual community will offer guidance, support, and encouragement during rough times and during exciting times.  Some people find this type of support in casts of shows, at work, or in other types of groups, but church (of any kind) can offer a specific nurturing of the soul that is not common to these other relationships.

Currently, I am on a quest to find a spiritual community.  I have had many struggles with organized religion, I grew up Evangelical, and have been a Buddhist for many years.  I believe in God and the many forms and views of this holy entity, not a belief common in the Christian community.  I think faith should inspire, forgive, offer hope, and encourage a person to strive to be better.  Until I find a spiritual community that offers this, I will keep looking.

If you have found your own spiritual practice and community, celebrate them!  You are among souls who will help you along your path.  If you are still searching or practicing mindfulness or something else instead of religion or faith, kudos.  There are so many ways to practice spirituality, embrace YOUR way and commit to it.

The wonder of life is all around us.  Currently, that is my church.  Happy Easter!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Family Matters

You can't regrow a family, much as we dream about it when we're young. In spite of miscommunications and hurt feelings that all relationships have, your family is yours for better or worse.

You don't have to like your family. Heck, you may not even choose to have them in your life. Or you may talk to one or more of your family every day and they may be the most consistent people in your life! Family defines who we are, the roles we play professionally and personally, and instill in us our self-worth.

If you have a great family - do something a little extra special for them today. If you have struggles with your family, do one activity today and dedicate it to growing love and tolerance in your family. Either way, the time you spend will increase love in your life.

And if your family is no longer in the physical realm, creating your own family whom you choose is a worthy and wonderful endeavor.

Family matters.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin