How Do You Want to BE?

As I wait to pick up my fuzzy love from the vet, I am pondering the things I most enjoy in life.  Some people do not value pets, and that's fine for them.  I, however, love a fuzzy creature sharing my home and looking at me with both curiosity and love.  His little purring sounds of pleasure remind me how simple giving and touch can be soothing and appreciated.  Plus, when he jumps up onto anything, he makes this trilling sound announcing his action - which cracks me up.  Stinky will also make that sound when we're walking by him to make sure we don't step on him.  He's learned to help us humans who do not always look where we step to NOT step on him.

All of that got me thinking about how I exist in the world and my choices around how I encourage other people to interact with me, how I go about letting other people know I'm in the room, and how I show other people appreciation.  I don't think I'll be rubbing up against colleagues or friends soon in affection, but I do enjoy hugging my friends or shaking hands if they're not "huggy" people. 

Many friends might be surprised to realize I'm actually an introvert - which means lots of time in a room with lots of people is not my preferred way to be.  When I'm in that position, I'm great at connecting with people - and it wears me out.  I prefer one on one or small groups so I can easily feel included and include others in companionship.

My favorite way to show appreciation to people is giving my friends things from my garden.  I love gifting people with oranges, flowers, lavender, rosemary, mint, French sorrel, and whatever else the earth is gifting me.  Sharing like that makes me feel like I am personally contributing to my friends sensual pleasure as well as nurturing through nutrition.  If you don't know what you do, think of your favorite gifts (can even be cards or words!) that someone has given you in thanks.  You might consider adopting that idea and practicing it in your own life!  Have a great day!!!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Romance is NOT Dead!

There are times when I just don't have the words to tell my honey how much I love him.  So I turn to the people who have made words their life: poets.  Pablo Neruda is a personal favorite.    

Neruda's book of 100 Love Sonnets is one of my "go to" romance books...

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

~Pablo Neruda 

See what I mean?  *sigh*  Plus, in 100 Love Sonnets, the sonnets appear both in Spanish (how Neruda wrote them) as well as their delicious translation in English.  

Send your love (whether you have met him/her yet or not) a sonnet today!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

 

Hummingbirds are Magical Creatures

Did you know they make a high pitched squeak when they fly?  It sort of sounds like an alternator going out on a car, but much quieter.  Seriously.

I love hummingbirds.  I've loved their tiny little colorful bodies, needle beaks, and magical invisible wings since I was little.  I have a few feeders out back, and I've yet to master the right sugar/water ratio, but I'm working on it. 

Do you have a tiny creature you love?  In truth, I also love toads, which are in many ways opposite of hummingbirds.  I would play with these toads (when in the north woods of WI in the summer), which were much more compelling than frogs in my 5-year-old brain.  They are brown, don't move too quickly, are not uppity, and blend in so well to their environment that they seem magical to me - just like hummingbirds. 

Though I don't think southern California is home to many toads, it is home to many hummingbirds.  When I'm eager to take in a natural inspiration, hummingbirds do the trick every time! 

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Girlfriends are Great

It's chilly out, dark, and quiet.  A perfect evening to call a friend!  Nights like this really hit home how much I have moved around.  Uprooting has deeply affected my ability to nurture and maintain historical friendships.  I am lucky enough to remain in contact with some of my friends from high school.  Not just acquaintances, these people know me.  History cannot be fabricated or replaced.  And I need local friends.  Friends to call up to laugh with, to meet for a movie, coffee or breakfast, and to do fun activities with.

Sadly, with the hurdles of time zones and children, the likelihood of me picking up the phone after 8pm to phone friends in Chicago (10pm there) is unlikely out of respect, and it's usually the only time I can cozy up to a phone.  Here many friends have children and I don't feel comfortable calling after 8pm. 

A wise person who shared tea with me this week reminded me that friendship is an activity - I have to put into it what I wish to get out of it.  So I need to choose friends and apply myself.  I am responsible for my happiness.

My plan?  I'm calling a local friend with a good heart and making a friendship date.  It's time to stop blaming moving around so much for not having heaps of great friends to call at midnight (if I needed to).  I'm making the effort - because girlfriends are great.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

A New CAR!!!

Seriously?  In this economy?  A new car?  Well, friends, I have to tell you, deals have never been better.  My wonderful husband was driving around his addled Mitsubishi Diamante with the cracked windshield, sagging ceiling upholstery, and assorted dents.  His final visit to the mechanic with this loyal car was similar to bringing an old faithful dog out to pasture.  Okay, a little mixing of metaphors, but you get my meaning.

So what did we contemplate?  Toyota is having the BEST deal they've EVER offered on new cars - 0% annual percentage rate on loans up to 60 months.  That translates to NO INTEREST on a loan for 5 years on a new car.  Plus, we would be a two Toyota family which would give the new car free service up to 25,000 miles.  That's a screaming deal.  I trotted over to Toyota only to discover the cars we could afford (under $20,000) were either too small for Doug or just not appealing.  I dearly love my Prius - and I want Doug to love his car.  Push on!

So then I trotted over to Honda to see their deals.  The Civic caught my eye!   Fully loaded the Civic is just above $22,000 (U.S. News and World Reports #2 deal) and the dealer assured me we had $2,000 wiggle room for price.  However, when Doug drove the car, it was a no go.  He was unimpressed with the dashboard, interior, and handling - and he wanted more room.  No Honda for us.

Then we struck gold.  A trusted friend suggested a car broker to us who worked his magic!  He's a man who can get you things.  Broker's don't have the overhead dealerships do, so savings passed on to us, the buyer.  Magically, Brian the broker had an amazing low mileage fully loaded gray 2007 Camry Hybrid for a price we could afford; his other client had gotten a new car.  The best part?  When my husband saw the car, the glimmer of Christmas glee shone in his eyes.  Done.

April Fool's Day... How did it start?

"In 1708 a correspondent wrote in to the British Apollo magazine to ask, “Whence proceeds the custom of making April Fools?” The question is one that many people are still asking today.

The puzzle that April Fool’s Day presents to cultural historians is that it was only during the eighteenth century that detailed references to it (and curiosity about it) began to appear. But at that time, the custom was already well established throughout northern Europe and was regarded as being of great antiquity. How had the tradition been adopted by so many different European cultures without provoking more comments in the written record?

References to April Fool’s Day can be found as early as the 1500s. However, these early references were infrequent and tended to be vague and ambiguous. Shakespeare, writing in the late sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries, made no mention of April Fool’s Day, despite being, as Charles Dickens Jr. put it, a writer who “delights in fools in general.” 

Many theories have been put forward about how the tradition began. Unfortunately, none of them are very compelling. So the origin of the “custom of making April Fools” remains as much a mystery to us as it was back in 1708."

~the above excerpt found on museum of hoaxes

 

When the Cat is Away, the Mouse Will Play

So my husband is out of town this weekend and I have plenty of solitude to cuddle my cat, read my Ph.D. books, and clean. While I was pondering all of the wild things I could do while he was away, I realized I just love down time to cultivate stillness or mindful activity. Okay, this is not a knew realization for me.

Creating order in my space and home helps me be clear and unfettered in my life. Having time to tend to the house without the distraction of cuddling up to my husband, is rare and reflective for me. I love the feeling a clean house gives me - AFTER it's done. The doing can be therapeutic, but not always something I hunger for. Plus, according to Psychology Today, a clean space (often) reflects an orderly mind.

Well, kids, I miss my husband. As it happens, you get to hear about it.

Okay, so I really should have titled this "Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder", but would it have been as enticing?

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Mary Oliver is an Inspiration to Me

Mary Oliver has a gift with words. This Pulitzer Prize winner and her dog are captured in a quiet moment to the right.

Following is a great poem of Ms. Oliver's:

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~Mary Oliver

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Working Too Hard

In this society that rewards over-achievers and people who sacrifice personal lives, when do people get to rest? When I moved to L.A., I was thrilled by the vast and rich resources here including experts in almost any field, artists of all ilks, and a melting pot of cultures and generations. I must admit, though I grew up in Chicago, the last place I lived was a rural town in Ohio. That sweet small town did not boast much diversity... of anything.

However, I did learn something of a gift in Ohio. Though I did not enjoy the ability to learn from masters, have throngs of friends, or wonder continually "where did the time go?", I did have solitude to contemplate my life. I lived there two years and it felt like 10 - but I never felt my life was flying before my eyes. I actually joked with my husband the other day that we should visit Ohio because it always felt like time stood still there -- because we both need a rest.

So what is it about L.A. versus Ohio that makes time seem so different? Commuting to anything in L.A. requires a commitment of time and energy. Driving, well - wading through traffic - is not usually my favorite part of the day. Yesterday alone I heard two T-bone thumps of accidents in the span of 20 minutes.

The biggest problem I see with living in Los Angeles (drum roll) is all the opportunity inspires me to over-commit, and then I struggle to get it all done. My tendency to over-commit has led to multiple migraines headaches, restless nights of sleeping, nightmares, tension, and occasionally bitchy behavior.

What are the options? DO LESS. Pick the things you love to do, promise yourself a solitude date where you don't do ANYTHING for at least a few hours of every week (aside from one FULL DAY OFF), and start telling people NO. When life isn't fun, revive the important and joyful things! Your life is made up of moments; are you creating the moments you will cherish?

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Transplant to L.A.

Yesterday I was transplanting a huge lemon bush from my neighbor's yard to mine (what a great gift!) and it occurred to me that many elements are necessary to uproot from the place where you have sprouted and lived for years.

For example, much of the root system of the shrub is disturbed or gone because the act of digging it up is tough when it is near a wall. Most of us are near a wall when we decide to move. Plus, for a successful transplant, the top of the plant needs to be removed so that the depth of the root matches the height of the plant. Transplanting anything is shocking to the organism, so to give the plant its best chance to adapt in its new home means cutting it down to a size where it can start again. Uhm... I have to point out the lemons to lemonade reference (groan here).

I have made several moves in my lifetime, 3 were cross country. Whenever I did move, I did an extreme "cutting of the fat" in my life and rid myself of items and things that were not necessary to my life.

Though you may not have the formidable goal of moving anytime soon, take time to notice your root system (people in your life), how you are living, where you are living, to make sure all of these elements are working for you. Every new season gives us a chance to make sure we are thriving - or make the changes necessary to thrive! Happy Spring!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Acting Viscerally

Jim Wise, my seminal acting teacher, spoke to me of acting: "You should feel it in your blood." He also pounded into me that all acting should be "the day something special happens." Why else would anyone bother to act?

To successfully attempt both of these necessities, an actor has to know her buttons. The buttons to which I refer are the touchy places in yourself that are highly reactive to other people - primarily instilled by family. For example, don't make fun of my family. Can you imagine how this button might inform me playing the role of Antigone? Add the sprinkle of grief from loosing my mom -- and playing Greek tragedy is second nature.

When you sit with a script and keenly identify with the character, your process when approaching the role may be quick and easy - because you KNOW it. However, not all roles sing so clearly to the heart of an actor.

When you identify the character's need/essential action/overall objective (and for the love of GOD - please go beyond what the script is saying literally unless it's Shakespeare), compare that need to your buttons. Which need can you easily access to accomplish that goal? Who can that other person be to you to make your behavior specific?

Life or death behavior is more exhilarating than anything else on earth! If you think playing in your button zone is scary, keep in mind all actors are control freaks. Why? Actors know the end of the story and every bump on the road. An actor's job is to make that road cost her something and for it to be more exciting to her than any other doing. Make it so!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Rainy Day Celebration

In some Native American Traditions, rain is perceived as good fortune. The rain nurtures the earth and helps us grow food and sustain life.

In Los Angeles, rain usually means dangerous roads (because they're so dirty from NOT having usual rain fall), crazy or timid drivers, --- and a welcome sense of calm.

I invite you to take a moment today in the rain or observing the rain to offer thanks for your good fortune. You live in a desert with great weather, amazing people, and an abundance of resources.

Let us dwell in possibility!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Ambition is Necessary

"Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds."
~Oscar Wilde

If you love what you do, you'll do anything to do it. This is the artists' cross to bear.

Sadly, you and I know people who are amazing talents who do not have the ambition to wade through all of the necessary meetings, business rigmarole, nor embody the tenacity of spirit to remain okay against a barrage of assaulting thoughts.

What will carry a person through the storms? Ambition. How much you want it will determine what lengths you will go to accomplish your goal. What's too much? Where do you draw the line?

I waited until I was healthy, capable, and honed my craft before moving to L.A. Most actors are encouraged to move here when they are young because it's easier for agents to pitch the young ones. Sadly, many young actors do not an acting process intact so they may land the job, and then get fired or never hired again because the performance given is either flat or unrepeatable.

The lesson? Go take classes from people who inspire you who nurture you rather than tear you down. This business is already full of sharks. There are plenty of teachers and coaches who are wonderful both at sharing craft and helping you create your own. Unabashedly, I have been told I am a great teacher because I love what I do and I love helping another actor hone her process.

Look around and find your support system. Surround yourself with people who love you!!!

I'd be interested to learn what you do to remain in integrity - or even if you choose to remain in the business on and off because of the challenges you've found.

Finding your voice is the first step, using it is the second. Let me hear from you!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Listen to Your Core - Finding Representation

Acting is a tedious business. While actor training is delightful and insightful to an artist as a person and as a performer, the getting of jobs on the regional stage or screen in the jungle of Los Angeles can hurt the sensitive heart of an artist.

Finding the best match to go forward and tackle your career requires personal insight and listening to your gut. The gimme's of meeting with an agent or manager are:

1. Know who you are - your type. This can best be determined by how you've been cast in the past.

2. Know what type of person you like to work with (direct, brutally honest, nurturing, etc.). The person an artist chooses to represent and help mold her career will ideally have a myriad of elements - know which ones are most important to you.

3. Your representation must love your work. As an actor, you should be able to tell if a person truly enjoys your work. If you cannot tell, look for amount of eye contact during your meeting - if the agent or manager does not seem interested, it's because he or she is not. If you don't get that excited feeling, working together may not be the best match.

As for running your business, Phil Brock puts it best: "You are your own CEO and everyone works for you." If the ship is not going in the direction you want, it's time for a meeting. You need to hire the people who you feel will get you where you want to go - and YOU are the boss.

Okay Boss, YOU have to step up to the plate. First, get your tools in order, then build relationships. This is not the days of old where casting directors actually had open calls to meet new actors. If you want to make it in L.A., you need to MEET casting directors and get your work in front of them. Success is all about relationships.

Your tools are crucial: headshots (that look good as a thumbnail) I love Natalie Young, a demo reel (do a FlipCamera video if you don't have anything), and get some credits. If you just can't seem to get into a screen audition, do some 99-seat theatre. Keep acting!!! I don't suggest paying to get into an acting company because I am a firm believer in being paid for your craft, but to each her own. Get on Actor's Access, which is associated with breakdowns, so you can submit yourself. Get on IMDb Pro so casting directors can find you.

Varient Actors' Lab, run by Amie Farrell, is a great class because the format is casting director guests twice a month and class to work skills twice a month. Other options include places like The Actors' Key.

As an artist, you need to tend to your heart. Integrity is tough when jobs are fleeting, the "next best thing" is always around the corner, and people are fickle. Know the things that make you happy, do them, and keep PLAYING. This is your life, make it happen as you wish.

Copywright 2010 Heather Corwin