To Vent or NOT to Vent, That is the Question

Do you ever find yourself sharing everything on your mind, when you know some thoughts might better be saved for your journal? I'm not saying you should bottle up frustration until you blow up at someone, I'm saying there are healthy and easy ways to get out your thoughts that do not require another person being your continual sounding - or more accurately battering - board.

The operative word in the last sentence is "continual." Of course you're going to need to share your thoughts and ideas from your day with your friend or honey! If you find you continually bitch rather than share, you may want to shift your focus.

Bitching is examining an experience with severe judgment that is not usually healthy. Excessive bitching can lead to a shift of focus in your daily life to the negative experiences thereby relegating the positive experiences. Note: Bitching is fine if it's not your habit.

Ways to vent that will give voice to your frustrations include:

• journaling
  
• writing a letter to the person (if it's about another person) and never sending it to them
• dancing
• singing
• putting the imaginary person into a chair and speaking to that person as if they were there

So next time you're thinking of extolling the idiocy of the thing that is driving you crazy, stop and think: is this how I want to be spending my energy?

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

When the Cat is Away, the Mouse Will Play

So my husband is out of town this weekend and I have plenty of solitude to cuddle my cat, read my Ph.D. books, and clean. While I was pondering all of the wild things I could do while he was away, I realized I just love down time to cultivate stillness or mindful activity. Okay, this is not a knew realization for me.

Creating order in my space and home helps me be clear and unfettered in my life. Having time to tend to the house without the distraction of cuddling up to my husband, is rare and reflective for me. I love the feeling a clean house gives me - AFTER it's done. The doing can be therapeutic, but not always something I hunger for. Plus, according to Psychology Today, a clean space (often) reflects an orderly mind.

Well, kids, I miss my husband. As it happens, you get to hear about it.

Okay, so I really should have titled this "Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder", but would it have been as enticing?

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Where's Your Happy Place?

As I get older, I surround myself with things that inspire me. That takes effort, believe me. These elements include people, books, things, plants, -- whatever makes my heart sing. So I started to think about a common thread through these inspirations.

I have a little place inside me that vibrates - sometimes even quivers - when something makes me happy. That happy place is my guide inside my life. If I'm not sure about something, I check in with my happy place.

Ironically, as my husband will attest, there are times when the ferocity of my happy place makes my shy away from the very thing that I'm sure would make me happy. After all, that could mean I would be unhappy after having known such glee, right? Please. There's so much fear stopping us from being happy it's ridiculous! (I'm pointing a finger at myself right now.)

My suggestion? If you don't already know your happy place intimately, spend some time reflecting on the times in your life when you almost came out of your skin because something GREAT happened to you. Then think about the elements that event has for you. If you can pick your top five and commonalities, you're going to find out things about yourself that might surprise you. Happy hunting!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Healthy Competition

Do you often see friends at auditions? Yesterday, I was auditioning for a hilarious spot that required a talented Shakespearean actress. Of course I'm going to see some friends there!!! After all, how many of us play Shakespeare in Los Angeles?

This started me thinking about healthy competition. I've never been one who feels that I need to knock off all of my competition to get ahead. That competition helps me refine my craft. These people are often my friends who I will work with again, enjoy, and admire.

So many artists are great. Each artist embodies special talents or traits (ideally enhanced by training). Each gig is going to require something special; the casting director is hired to match actors' unique gifts to the roles. Since I can't begin to guess what they think they're looking for, I simply do my best.

After the audition, I give myself the walk from the casting director's office to my car to beat myself up about what I might have done differently - and then I let it go. If I just can't seem to let it go for whatever reason, I do some sort of ritual to let it go like have a fire in my fire pit and write the word "anxiety" on a paper and burn it. Or take a shower and imagine the water is washing away the event. Okay, I like dramatic gestures.

Auditioning is part of the business. If I mulled over every audition for days, I'd soon loose my mind. If you find yourself doing that, try to audition more so you don't attach so much weight to each audition. Let the inevitable competition inspire you to rise to the occasion.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Does Clutter Slow You Down?

Many people have the challenge of living in intimate (cough) spaces in Los Angeles, and clutter can be a problem. You may not be in need of Clutters Anonymous, but you may need some help organizing.

Tips to organize:

1. Do you need all the things that are in your space?
2. Do you have priorities to the things you have out? (Things you need more often than others... like the phone.)
3. Are you keeping something out because of nostalgia or because you need it? Nostalgia is great, store it and save it for your next bigger space.
4. Storage doesn't have to be bulky, ugly, or expensive. You have to be creative and find places in your place to store things. For example, you might consider a trunk or several storage bins to create a "coffee table" in your living room. Been to a consignment shop or estate sale for storage solutions? You might find a great gem - ONE, NOT 10.
   
5. Are you keeping things you haven't used in over a year? This includes clothes. Give them away - someone will need them.
6. Do you have a favorite space in your space? If you don't it's past time to make one. What elements do you need to love your space?
   

According to Sarah Aguirre, clutter only takes four boxes:

Trash

Give Away/Sell

Storage

Put away

If you aren't sure if you want to part with it, invite a good friend over and do your best! Getting your space to be your haven is paramount to enjoying your life.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

Eleanor Roosevelt spoke to the heart of every dreamer with her quote above. How often are we encouraged to intermingle practicality with our dreams?

Can an actor really be a great actor if she is wondering how she's going to pay for her next meal? Sadly, artists of most genres are not valued in our culture. As evidenced by the National Endowment for the Arts becoming more of a figurehead than a grant-giving institution as well as our schools cutting arts programs. *sigh* These schools are creating tomorrow's leaders.

I firmly believe that giving people, young and old, the power to creatively express helps people find a voice to articulate their experiences -- which increases happiness because we feel heard. We often don't have words to communicate the state of mind we're in, so we say things like "blah." If big feelings don't have words, creative expression allows that feeling to be recognized and diffused just by sitting with the feeling for a while.

If you're having big feelings that seem all bottled up, get a cheap paint brush and some water and find the nearest concrete, then water-paint. I used to do this as a child and never knew it is also used for expression therapy. If you want to one-up that, go get some inexpensive water colors and some paper and see what you come up with.

Your dream and future may require a sprinkle of practicality, do it with fervor!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Mary Oliver is an Inspiration to Me

Mary Oliver has a gift with words. This Pulitzer Prize winner and her dog are captured in a quiet moment to the right.

Following is a great poem of Ms. Oliver's:

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~Mary Oliver

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin