Like most people, I don't like to make another person feel bad. I know (usually) when I do make someone else feel bad, as an offended or taken aback face is not difficult to spot. What can be challenging is the simple act of saying. "Wow. I really screwed up. I'm sorry I did that. I'm even more sorry I made you feel bad."
I did not used to excel at apologizing. Over time, I've practiced and gotten really good at it. I'm also good at not taking the blame when it's not mine to take. Sometimes the blame game hinges on point of view, but that may be a topic for another reflection.
All in all, I can say without a doubt that apologizing -- when I feel bad and another person feels bad -- makes me feel better immediately. Plus, we both feel relief that the conflict is over. When I apolized to a friend today, she told me I'm good at saying I'm sorry. That felt good to hear. Why? Who wants to be sorry when there's so much joy to be had in the world!
Copyright 2011 Heather Corwin