When you acknowledge that your situation in life does not match the elements of support and encouragement (or whatever you deem crucial to your enjoyment in your career or relationships), change it. If people exist who do not subscribe to your needs, either set out to educate those people so they are able to address your needs, or make those relationships less important and time consuming altogether. This idea sounded difficult to me, at first. But when I put this simple idea into practice, two things happened.
The first outcome was the people who cared about me stepped up to the plate and engaged with me in ways that were satisfying and helped grow both of us. The second result was the people who were not interested in working together to continue our relationship in mutually satisfying ways ended. What I took from this was some people are worthy of investment and others are not.
A prime example of both outcomes was a person in my life who was a subordinate, we'll call him Jim. Jim was good at completing tasks which he was interested in, but not those in which he was not. Problems came to a boiling point when Jim's disgruntled resentment surfaced in a confrontation about what he thought he should be doing rather than what his job demanded. Jim expressed his opinion, I was not able to change what the job demands were. Jim couldn't listen to what I needed as his boss, and Jim needed to move on. Jim also directed anger at me for remaining clear in my stance that the work needed to be done, regardless of his point of view. This type of situation is familiar to many; we all have been on one side or the other at times.
Try out the simple strategy and see what you discover. I'd love to hear your outcomes!!!
Copyright 2018 Dr. Heather Corwin
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