Letter to My Daughter about Dating

Dear Sweet Girl,

Here are some things to consider when you start dating.

• When you decide to commit yourself to a man (if men are your preference), make sure he makes you laugh.  If he doesn't, kick him to the curb.
• When you decide to date, make sure you get butterflies inside.  If you still have the butterflies on the third date, keep dating him.
• If he does not kiss well, and you really like him, teach him how to kiss you. 
• If he doesn't make you feel special, dump him.
• Know that there are several ways to say "I Love You."  You might like flowers, he might like to fix your car.  Both can mean "I Love You."  Make sure you find the guy who speaks your love language!
• When you enter the room, if his eyes don't look for you, you may have reason to wonder about staying in the relationship.
• If he doesn't make you feel beautiful, dump him.
• If he looks at other women with lust in your presence, dump him.  (This may have to wait until you're in your thirties...)
• If your pulse rate doesn't speed up when he's around, question why you're in the relationship.
• If you feel defensive around him more than 5% of the time, dump him.
• If you don't like his family and you are considering being with him for the long haul, know that you're choosing a long hard battle that you won't win.
• If you're thinking of cheating on him - dump him.  I don't care how long you've been together - end the first relationship before you start another.  Even if it's hard, DO IT.  Not ending the first relationship will make the second never work - and all will feel terrible.

And finally,
Know that you are the most precious person in the world.  If the person you love does not awaken in you and recognize the best parts of you, walk away.  You deserve someone who celebrates you for the amazing person you are.

Love,
Mom

Copyright 2011 Heather Corwin

Clean out the Relationship Closet!

There are times in everyone's life when a relationship has outlasted its welcome.  Sometimes those relationships are personal, sometimes business.  So what should be the deal breakers when deciding who's to go and who's to stay?

1. Do you feel your relationship is mutually respectful?
2. Do you trust the person or institution?
3. Do you look forward to interactions with the person?
4. Does the person own when s/he does something wrong?  Meaning, do they apologize or just make you feel bad because they ignore your feelings and needs?
5. Do you seem to have a core affinity for each other?
6. Do you dread hearing from them?
7. When you see it's them on caller ID, is your choice most often to let it go to voice mail even when you can take the call?
8. When you get off the phone or out of a meeting with the person, do you sigh with relief?

Check it out with your people.  Life is too short to invite anxiety into it!  Surround yourself with the people who LOVE you!!!