Do Hormones Really Do Anything?

In a word: Yes.  First, the average male has 9 hormones where as the average female has 126.  No wonder women suffer from migraines more than men!  But that's not all.  What I'm learning first hand is mood swings and intense feelings after giving birth.  These fluctuating hormones make me feel like I have some sort of madness at times.

The intensity of feelings harkens back to the beginning of the time when my period started.  There's a great reason most teenage girls are portrayed as moody and bitchy.  During my time, I would feel on edge and vulnerable and not understand why. 

Well, now I know why and I'm annoyed that most of the time I'm doing damage control in my own mind.  For example, if the dishes are in the sink and dirty left by anyone else, I'm furious.  Seriously angry.  This anger is followed by a bafflement that anyone would be so selfish as to do something they know would annoy me.  Yeah.  Not fun to be in my head as this whirlwind of emotions swirl.

The healthy part of this present process is my ability to step back, take a breath, and realize that this too shall pass.  Sigh.  As I begin the process of slowing down and stopping breast feeding, I'm hoping my body doesn't offer me an all out riot of screaming hormones...  it will.  So until the storm passes, I thank all of you who have to sit it out with me. 

Copyright 2011 Heather Corwin

Swearing...I Can't as a Mom

Well, hell.  I love swearing.  Though I'm considering giving it up because I am a new mom.  However, I reserve the right to use strong language as a professor (sometimes swearing helps me make a point when teaching acting).  Muthafuckah!  Okay, I don't usually use that one or G.D.  Jeez, the last time I used G.D. was when I was in my twenties, I had moved to Nashville, and cussed in a supermarket near an old craggy woman -- who clutched her chest at my profanity.  I thought I almost killed her.  That was the last time I carelessly let that swear word fly.

Strong language is so odd, isn't it?  We give power to a series of sounds that can be offensive to some and like old friends to others.  I remember fondly getting used to saying the word "hell."  I was in girl scouts, in 8th grade, and at a dude ranch retreat with some of my closest friends.  I said "hell" every other word.  I felt like I was all powerful and an adult, a heady feeling. Please note Lady Pac Man was the big new thing at this time.

I like swearing.  I like the way it tastes in my mouth.  I like the way it sounds.  I like that when I swear it's usually playfully - not out of anger.  I like that if I hurt myself on something I have a great word to accompany my anguish.  I like that when I swear you can tell I'm from Chicago.  Sigh.  Well...I guess I'm going to have to come up with my own renditions of strong language as a mom.  Boy, I already miss the F bomb cracking from my lips... Perhaps I shall defer to the classic expletive in GHOST BUSTERS: "mother puss bucket!"

Copyright 2011 Heather Corwin