Holy Crap, I'm a PARENT

So I'm now recovering from sleep deprivation that clouded my life the first three months of my being a parent.  My little girl is here, sharing my home, now her home, and at last I can almost function normally (whatever that means).  And now that I'm a parent, I can't help but think of my own parents and how they raised me.  Plus, I'm a twin and was unexpectedly so, and I can't imagine having two little ones at the same time.

So what does it take to be a good parent?  According to Bowlby, the pioneer of parenting Attachment theory, parents only have to be great 30% of the time.  What that means is I have to try to understand her needs and meet them.  I'm certainly going to get that wrong.  When I do get it wrong, I need to repair the damage I do by adjusting my behavior to meet her needs at least 30% of the time.  This will be enough for my baby girl to feel like she is loved, taken care of, and will give her the courage to successfully find her way into the world as she needs it to be.  That's freaking cool.

No matter if I liked my parents most of the time or not, they created me, took care of me to the best of their ability, and loved me...still do!  What I do know about parenting is

• it's not for everyone
• it's harder than I could have imagined because I want to get it right
• my parents had it tougher than I did because I'm a twin and was born the "middle" child
• I'm going to screw my kid up - but I'll be there for her when I do!

My mom is no longer living so I can't ask her for advice even if I wanted to.  I feel blessed to have a wonderful family and in-laws who are loving and generous - thank God!!!  I couldn't make it through this time without them.  I have a day coming up to acknowledge their love and support.

Mother's day is May 8.  Whether or not you see eye to eye with your mom, she surely made it possible for you to be living.  You may want to send her some love this Mother's day! 

Copyright 2011 Heather Corwin