Relationships. Does it all come back to Family?

Most psychologists agree that family is a human's core relationship system, and is the most profound and long reaching you can have in your life.  These relationships occur pre-verbally.  Consequently, met and unmet needs you have from these relationships go on to inform the rest of your life.  However, that does not mean you cannot create awareness around these patterns, how they affect you, and work on your ability to change them.

The most direct way to learn about these patterns, so that you can begin to address and practice changing your reactions, is in a group.  Most commonly, group therapy is ideal for this very reason.  Private therapy or one on one is amazing, but it focuses only on you and does not put you in direct relationship with other people as does group therapy.  For this reason, group therapy is reputed to be more effective than one on one therapy.

Family constellation work, introduced by Adler,  may also be a tool that your group uses.  Basically this works by using group members to play members of your family - sometimes beginning as a family portrait.  Through seeing your family this way and how you see yourself within that unit, you can more clearly determine how you participate in relationships, then and now. 

Regardless of embedded patterns of how a person operates, through awareness, courage, tenacity, and work, a person can evolve the creation of alternate choices in behavior that do result in happiness: in self and in relationships.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Silence Can Nurture

Do you remember the deafening silence when the electricity goes out?  The first time I experienced the power going out, I was startled by how quiet the world seemed.  I loved it!  I didn't hear any subtle high pitched noises, no whirring, and no humming.  And then I noticed something else, my nervous system settled and I felt a calmness I didn't know existed.  I feel confident this is why I like to go into the woods and listen.

Think about it!  We have so many gadgets that plug in and make noise: computers, phones, televisions, stereos, refrigerators, microwaves, printers, faxes, fountains, air purifiers, central heat and air... the list is endless!  I'm grateful for these conveniences, and they have a presence that makes noise.  Plus, cars rumble; some more than others.  One of the reasons I purchased my Prius is for the silence and stillness I can enjoy when the gas engine disengages.  Heaven!

To cultivate silence and stillness in your life, you might try going swimming and go underwater.  There you have the double benefit of simulating prenatal experience with pure silence.  If you don't have a pool, a bath tub (and I add plenty of suds) will do.  

True silence is the rest of the mind; 

it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, 

nourishment and refreshment.  

~William Penn

Silence is the true friend that never betrays.  

~Confucius

Silence is a source of great strength.  

~Lao Tzu 

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin 

Storing Memories for Future Generations

Do you ever wonder what your parents were like when they were in their 20's?  30's?  Do you wonder how much you've grown and what's changed about you?   All About Me is a wonderful book that will help you chronicle your life presently.  As an actor, getting to know yourself is crucial to your ability to augment parts of yourself to create a character.  All About Me is a splendid way to do that - and to share with your kids when they're your age now so they can know you in stages.

Another version - THAT IS A GREAT WEDDING GIFT - is All About Us. My husband I had a blast filling this out during our engagement.  Again, great to pass down generations if you're interested in that sort of thing.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin