How Do You Choose a Healer?

Everywhere in the world there are healers other than medical doctors who can ease our bodies and soothe our souls.  But how do you know which modality is best for you?  And how do you know you're going to have a talented healer?

When I am looking for credentials, I make sure the person has proper licensing to insure legal training and ethics are followed according to the parameters of the profession.  More importantly, I ask friends who they like in the area.  If that's not enough, I make sure the person has been practicing at least 5 years.  That's enough time to determine if they have the talent and stamina to remain in the field.  After which, I look at any online reviews with a grain of salt and see if they sound true.

I have three standards that I hold dear when choosing a healer:

1. Their work inspires me.  I want to work with someone who not only loves what they do, but I feel our moments together have impacted me.
2. Their curiosity leads their work rather than judgment or a plan. I want to work with someone who is able to go with the flow and the moment because at all times anything can change.
3. They love what they do.  The love for something will motivate a person to go further and inquire more than someone who is just doing a job.  

In fact, I love helping people find healers so much, I've created Guided Healing Journey. 

Next time you're looking for a healer, keep in mind the things that make a healer great!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Little Demons Coming Out to Play

As I was sitting in my supervisor's office for my Ph.D. teaching practicum, I was face to face with my demon: thinking about something so much I've sucked the joy right out of it -- in spite of teaching being my most favorite thing to do in the world.

He noticed I had no joy in talking about the plans I have for the teaching intensive I will be teaching at the end of this month... I noticed he was right.  I was mucked up in the work I thought I should be doing for the teaching, like reading tons of books, planning every second of my lesson plans, and having every exercise ironed out to the last iota.  Puh-lease!  Did I mention I've been a teacher for years?  Yeah.  Don't get me wrong, plans are great to have, but more often than not they get tossed because the needs in the room are different that what I, the teacher, expect.  I do not have all the answers.  If I did, I would not be a good teacher because the answers live in the lives of my students.

And YET I have a niggling little demon inside me that pushes me to do more, be more, think more - as if what I am is not enough.  Where did this "pusher" come from?  My supervisor helped me name it as a classical trait of the masochist  (check it out in Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith).  Up until now in my life, this trait has helped me succeed in a variety of fronts.  Now she can rest.  He suggested I give her something else to do - like help make sure I eat healthy.

We all have little demons.  They have helped us get to where we are in life, and sometimes it's time for them to retire.  To bed!  To bed sweet demon!  It's lights out for you.  When you wake, you'll help me eat right.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Allergies. Can they be stopped?

I tell you what, my nose running or my throat dry irritates me.  Here in L.A., it's almost a sure thing that I'll have one or the other at all times.  So what can I do about it?

• drink plenty of water, 8 8oz. glasses are recommended per day (hydration can help your body function better to avoid full-blown allergies)
• include local honey in diet (honey is a mixture of all the flowering plants in your area, ingesting honey has proven to decrease allergic reactions to these plants)
• sleep (rest allows your body to regenerate, which encourages good immunity)
• low stress 
• humidifier (the Vicks UV Germ free is my favorite pictured below - I've tried MANY)

All of these actions will also help you have a healthier life and possibly live longer - and these actions have all been proven to decrease the likelihood of you suffering from allergies.
Happy Breathing!!!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Getting Older Means Loss is Inevitable

When I was growing up, my best friend lived two blocks away from me.   I could call her last minute to hang out, go see a movie, or whatever.  We found ways to make everything tolerable through laughter and hanging out.  As an adult, I still want to believe that friendship can be in this form... it cannot.

Being an adult includes responsibilities like running a household, running a business, having a job, paying bills, and creating a structure to successfully manage all of these things.  That means I now have to set a time to hang out with friends - sometimes weeks out from the date - only to be disappointed because something comes up last minute (like an audition) to foil our best laid plans.

A wise woman pointed out to me that instead of focusing on the gap, or the elements I would like to have in my life, I should focus on the things I DO have in my life.  Friends don't come along every day, but I also can't force a friendship to be something I have shared with an amazing woman whom I've known since kindergarten.  History cannot be forced.  Nor can chemistry be forced.  Much the same as romantic relationships, a person cannot force love to appear.  If it comes, it comes.

I may not be thrilled with the idea that I cannot have a girlfriend I can call up anytime who will jump to hang out and chat - but I can save up to travel to meet my girlfriends at their home or at a destination of our choosing.  Since I know I want to reconnect with my friends - I will make it happen on my terms.  It's the adult thing to do!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Silence Can Nurture

Do you remember the deafening silence when the electricity goes out?  The first time I experienced the power going out, I was startled by how quiet the world seemed.  I loved it!  I didn't hear any subtle high pitched noises, no whirring, and no humming.  And then I noticed something else, my nervous system settled and I felt a calmness I didn't know existed.  I feel confident this is why I like to go into the woods and listen.

Think about it!  We have so many gadgets that plug in and make noise: computers, phones, televisions, stereos, refrigerators, microwaves, printers, faxes, fountains, air purifiers, central heat and air... the list is endless!  I'm grateful for these conveniences, and they have a presence that makes noise.  Plus, cars rumble; some more than others.  One of the reasons I purchased my Prius is for the silence and stillness I can enjoy when the gas engine disengages.  Heaven!

To cultivate silence and stillness in your life, you might try going swimming and go underwater.  There you have the double benefit of simulating prenatal experience with pure silence.  If you don't have a pool, a bath tub (and I add plenty of suds) will do.  

True silence is the rest of the mind; 

it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, 

nourishment and refreshment.  

~William Penn

Silence is the true friend that never betrays.  

~Confucius

Silence is a source of great strength.  

~Lao Tzu 

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin 

Come Back To YOU!

Today I encourage you to do one very brief but substantial experiment:

Stand in your bare feet in a place you love and close your eyes.  Now count the things you love about the place including texture of sound, place, how you resonate with the place, what elements make you happy, can you imagine the place in your head while you are there and note the things you love there?

Note: If you don't have a current place you love, maybe go to a park or 

somewhere that reminds you of your favorite place.   Might I suggest you think about your life and 

begin inviting your life to shift in a way that you have 

so many favorite places you have a difficult time 

choosing which one is your most favorite!

Now open your eyes and take in all the things that make you happy there.  Note every crevice and plane of each contributing element to that space.  To embrace your moment of gratitude, choose one thing to go to and place your hand on it while thinking about how you love this place.  

Moments of gratitude remind us of the millions of things to be grateful for in our hectic lives.  Taking the time to be grateful every day will make your life better because you remember every day what a great life you have!

Now go and enjoy your Sunday! 

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Romance is NOT Dead!

There are times when I just don't have the words to tell my honey how much I love him.  So I turn to the people who have made words their life: poets.  Pablo Neruda is a personal favorite.    

Neruda's book of 100 Love Sonnets is one of my "go to" romance books...

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

~Pablo Neruda 

See what I mean?  *sigh*  Plus, in 100 Love Sonnets, the sonnets appear both in Spanish (how Neruda wrote them) as well as their delicious translation in English.  

Send your love (whether you have met him/her yet or not) a sonnet today!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

 

Hummingbirds are Magical Creatures

Did you know they make a high pitched squeak when they fly?  It sort of sounds like an alternator going out on a car, but much quieter.  Seriously.

I love hummingbirds.  I've loved their tiny little colorful bodies, needle beaks, and magical invisible wings since I was little.  I have a few feeders out back, and I've yet to master the right sugar/water ratio, but I'm working on it. 

Do you have a tiny creature you love?  In truth, I also love toads, which are in many ways opposite of hummingbirds.  I would play with these toads (when in the north woods of WI in the summer), which were much more compelling than frogs in my 5-year-old brain.  They are brown, don't move too quickly, are not uppity, and blend in so well to their environment that they seem magical to me - just like hummingbirds. 

Though I don't think southern California is home to many toads, it is home to many hummingbirds.  When I'm eager to take in a natural inspiration, hummingbirds do the trick every time! 

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

To Vent or NOT to Vent, That is the Question

Do you ever find yourself sharing everything on your mind, when you know some thoughts might better be saved for your journal? I'm not saying you should bottle up frustration until you blow up at someone, I'm saying there are healthy and easy ways to get out your thoughts that do not require another person being your continual sounding - or more accurately battering - board.

The operative word in the last sentence is "continual." Of course you're going to need to share your thoughts and ideas from your day with your friend or honey! If you find you continually bitch rather than share, you may want to shift your focus.

Bitching is examining an experience with severe judgment that is not usually healthy. Excessive bitching can lead to a shift of focus in your daily life to the negative experiences thereby relegating the positive experiences. Note: Bitching is fine if it's not your habit.

Ways to vent that will give voice to your frustrations include:

• journaling
  
• writing a letter to the person (if it's about another person) and never sending it to them
• dancing
• singing
• putting the imaginary person into a chair and speaking to that person as if they were there

So next time you're thinking of extolling the idiocy of the thing that is driving you crazy, stop and think: is this how I want to be spending my energy?

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Where's Your Happy Place?

As I get older, I surround myself with things that inspire me. That takes effort, believe me. These elements include people, books, things, plants, -- whatever makes my heart sing. So I started to think about a common thread through these inspirations.

I have a little place inside me that vibrates - sometimes even quivers - when something makes me happy. That happy place is my guide inside my life. If I'm not sure about something, I check in with my happy place.

Ironically, as my husband will attest, there are times when the ferocity of my happy place makes my shy away from the very thing that I'm sure would make me happy. After all, that could mean I would be unhappy after having known such glee, right? Please. There's so much fear stopping us from being happy it's ridiculous! (I'm pointing a finger at myself right now.)

My suggestion? If you don't already know your happy place intimately, spend some time reflecting on the times in your life when you almost came out of your skin because something GREAT happened to you. Then think about the elements that event has for you. If you can pick your top five and commonalities, you're going to find out things about yourself that might surprise you. Happy hunting!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Family Matters

You can't regrow a family, much as we dream about it when we're young. In spite of miscommunications and hurt feelings that all relationships have, your family is yours for better or worse.

You don't have to like your family. Heck, you may not even choose to have them in your life. Or you may talk to one or more of your family every day and they may be the most consistent people in your life! Family defines who we are, the roles we play professionally and personally, and instill in us our self-worth.

If you have a great family - do something a little extra special for them today. If you have struggles with your family, do one activity today and dedicate it to growing love and tolerance in your family. Either way, the time you spend will increase love in your life.

And if your family is no longer in the physical realm, creating your own family whom you choose is a worthy and wonderful endeavor.

Family matters.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Grief and Living

When a loved one exits my life, I am in turmoil. The History we built together cannot be replaced. They are no longer someone I can call, cry to, laugh with, and with whom I can build memories.

If you are unsure to seek out help to address grief, Rondi Lightmark, M.A. , offers "ten reasons why you might want to spend some time with a counselor:

1. You want to understand better about death and what happened to your loved one.

2. Your support system has moved on and you’re still struggling.
   

3. You can’t function, are losing sleep, crying every day, or having bad dreams.
   

4. Your health is breaking down.
   

5. You are filled with guilt and worry.
   

6. You have been having dreams or the sense that your loved one is near and wonder about life after death.
   

7. You are sad because you haven’t felt the presence of your loved one.
   

8. You need advice about how to help a grieving family member, a friend, or a child.
   

9. You feel angry, abandoned, or overwhelmed.
   

10. You want help figuring out how to share your experiences and find ways to integrate your loss through personal creativity."

If you feel a variety of healers might be appropriate for you, Guided Healing Journey is a local collective of healers that include working with a variety of healers who talk, touch, listen, and guide you through your solitude to help process grief. Getting Through Grief is an option to consider.

If you don't have resources to use healers, online resources might be an option. Journey of Hearts offers a variety of online grief resources.

Whatever your loss, please know support is everywhere.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin