Big Changes... Want One?

I took a few days off because I have been under the weather.  That rest I was talking about on Monday?  Well, I needed it.  After a few days of nausea and resting, I'm feeling better. 

While I was resting, I was thinking about how people can decide to change or not.  I thought about if there's anything in my life I'd like to change... and, yes, there is a biggie: my relationship to money.  When I get stressed, I want to hold tight to the perception of security that I place in money.  I'm perfectly aware that my need is an illusion, but I hold fast to it. So what can I do to bust through my unnecessary perception?  Since knowing the facts intellectually don't seem to help change my point of view, perhaps a faith in the universe might.

The truth of the matter is I have many people in my life who will support me and help me if I really need it.  To date in my life, I've not really needed to take advantage of that kind of support.  Which tells me two things: my worry is not based in historically accurate behavior, and I'm lucky to have people who I can count on in my life.

I encourage you to take a look at anything in your life that you'd like to change - from all angles.  Sometimes even the looking at it can help you begin the evolution to where you want to be!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Own Your Baggage

When I was in high school in the suburbs of Chicago, a few friends and I started a self-esteem and drug awareness weekend at our high school called Operation Snowball.  My best friend and I joked around that we had been asked to go to the "druggie camp."  We had no idea what to expect!  When we had a great time, it was a total surprise.

We were sent by the faculty to create the weekend retreats at the high school.  We slept over in the gym and had small groups lead by students and faculty together.  At the summer camp (called Illinois Teen Institure), we were given lectures on feelings, how to express feelings in a way that allowed others to hear the feelings more easily, and we also talked about things that were important to us.

Learning how to communicate big feelings around sensitive subjects is a gift that still serves me today.   The simple form of communication they taught was, "when you do ________________, I feel _____________."  Now, as a Ph.D. student in somatic psychology, I have learned more refined skills that help keep the focus on the behavior that riles me up, own my reaction, and options that could happen in the future to avoid me getting riled up.  That might look something like, "Wow.  I'm noticing that as we're talking about building the deck that I'm getting wound up because we're both putting in ideas, but I'm not feeling heard.  I wonder if it would be alright if we stepped back for a minute and took a breath."  Later, my husband and I decided that we are not to tackle outdoor jobs because he hates it, which makes him uncharacteristically irritable.  Plus, he has mucho baggage from childhood about yard work and I get really crabby when I don't feel heard.

When you're getting riled up, I encourage you to look at what's really bothering you, name any behaviors (to yourself) that might be instigating your irritation, how you can ask those around you to help you make the situation exist in a way that makes you comfortable, and breathe.  Then let your needs be known - and always own your part in the challenging situation.  The element that's getting you miffed is always inside you.  By embracing the fact that you're agitated, you can investigate the trigger in order to minimize the yucky feelings.  Feelings make us humans; communication makes us happy.

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

Romance is NOT Dead!

There are times when I just don't have the words to tell my honey how much I love him.  So I turn to the people who have made words their life: poets.  Pablo Neruda is a personal favorite.    

Neruda's book of 100 Love Sonnets is one of my "go to" romance books...

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

~Pablo Neruda 

See what I mean?  *sigh*  Plus, in 100 Love Sonnets, the sonnets appear both in Spanish (how Neruda wrote them) as well as their delicious translation in English.  

Send your love (whether you have met him/her yet or not) a sonnet today!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

 

A New CAR!!!

Seriously?  In this economy?  A new car?  Well, friends, I have to tell you, deals have never been better.  My wonderful husband was driving around his addled Mitsubishi Diamante with the cracked windshield, sagging ceiling upholstery, and assorted dents.  His final visit to the mechanic with this loyal car was similar to bringing an old faithful dog out to pasture.  Okay, a little mixing of metaphors, but you get my meaning.

So what did we contemplate?  Toyota is having the BEST deal they've EVER offered on new cars - 0% annual percentage rate on loans up to 60 months.  That translates to NO INTEREST on a loan for 5 years on a new car.  Plus, we would be a two Toyota family which would give the new car free service up to 25,000 miles.  That's a screaming deal.  I trotted over to Toyota only to discover the cars we could afford (under $20,000) were either too small for Doug or just not appealing.  I dearly love my Prius - and I want Doug to love his car.  Push on!

So then I trotted over to Honda to see their deals.  The Civic caught my eye!   Fully loaded the Civic is just above $22,000 (U.S. News and World Reports #2 deal) and the dealer assured me we had $2,000 wiggle room for price.  However, when Doug drove the car, it was a no go.  He was unimpressed with the dashboard, interior, and handling - and he wanted more room.  No Honda for us.

Then we struck gold.  A trusted friend suggested a car broker to us who worked his magic!  He's a man who can get you things.  Broker's don't have the overhead dealerships do, so savings passed on to us, the buyer.  Magically, Brian the broker had an amazing low mileage fully loaded gray 2007 Camry Hybrid for a price we could afford; his other client had gotten a new car.  The best part?  When my husband saw the car, the glimmer of Christmas glee shone in his eyes.  Done.

Eating Every Day... Live Long and Prosper?

Time to prepare food is rare, and I know that what I eat will directly effect how long I live and how well I live.  But why are vegetables so expensive?  And why does cooking take so much TIME?  AHA!  Have I got a treat for you! 

My aunt, who was almost a nun before she met my uncle, was a vegetarian for years.  After my bemoaning the difficulty of making healthy dishes that were both tasty and quick, she took the time to mail me The Vegetarian 5-Ingredient Gourmet by Nava Atlas (to right).  Let me tell you something, I was skeptical... and then I tried a recipe.

The title is no joke, you only need to get 5 ingredients and most of the recipes are under 30 minutes prep and cook time.  If you have high cholesterol, or are just interested in maintaining low fat intake, each recipe is coupled with calorie counts and fat grams.  Plus, there are vegan options.  Brilliant!

My favorite TOFU AND SWEET POTATO CURRY (this is savory, not hot):
You'll need:
  2 large or 3 medium sweet potatoes
  1 pound firm tofu, well drained and dried
  one 14 to 16 ounce can low-sodium stewed tomatoes, chopped, with liquid
  1 to 2 teaspoons good-quality curry powder, or to taste
  4 ounces arugula or baby spinach, well rinsed

1.  Bake or microwave the sweet potatoes in their skins until done but still firm.  When cool enough to handle, peel, and cut into large dice.

2. Combine the tofu, tomatoes, and 1 teaspoon of the curry powder in a stir-fry pan or wide skillet.  Bring to a simmer, cover, and cook over medium-low heat for 10 minutes.

3.  Add the diced sweet potato and continue to cook for another 5 minutes.

4.  Add the arugula, cover, and cook very briefly, just until it wilts slightly.  Taste and season with more curry if desired.  Season with salt and serve.

Calories: 159, Total fat: 4g, Protein: 8g, Carbohydrate: 22g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Sodium: 21mg

Bon Appetit!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin

When the Cat is Away, the Mouse Will Play

So my husband is out of town this weekend and I have plenty of solitude to cuddle my cat, read my Ph.D. books, and clean. While I was pondering all of the wild things I could do while he was away, I realized I just love down time to cultivate stillness or mindful activity. Okay, this is not a knew realization for me.

Creating order in my space and home helps me be clear and unfettered in my life. Having time to tend to the house without the distraction of cuddling up to my husband, is rare and reflective for me. I love the feeling a clean house gives me - AFTER it's done. The doing can be therapeutic, but not always something I hunger for. Plus, according to Psychology Today, a clean space (often) reflects an orderly mind.

Well, kids, I miss my husband. As it happens, you get to hear about it.

Okay, so I really should have titled this "Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder", but would it have been as enticing?

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin