Thursday, January 19, 2012

Anxiety Dreams

Want to know when I know I'm doing too much?  I start to problem solve in my dreams OR I have anxiety dreams.  My favorite one lately had to do with my child's daycare provider.  I dreamed they called me to ask if I wanted my child to continue in the program.  The tell-tale sign that the communication was not real was the fact that they told me if I didn't let someone know by next week that my child would simply not be allowed to attend anymore.  They just don't operate like that.

But today, just in case, I asked if someone had called me to ask about my daughter's enrollment.  Knowing I was probably imagining things did not stop me from making sure my daughter was going to stay at this great daycare.  My feeling was right, it was a dream.

So I started to think about what might cause a dream like this...  The answer rolled around in me: Anxiety born from the idea that I'm not enough. Now it's not often I grapple with this personal theme in this way.  What struck me about this dream is that this theme seems to be trickling onto what I perceive as a great opportunity for my daughter.  Even if my personal theme is NOT trickling on to my daughter, I want to make sure it doesn't.

So what am I going to do about it?  Go back to my amazing therapist and work on myself.  When I'm a healthier person, all who come into contact with me can enjoy me more.  Conversely, I can enjoy them more too!  I know I'm at the end of a long road with my Ph.D. coursework ( it's almost complete!); the road has taken a toll on me.  I'm tired, you see, from doing too much.  When I'm tired, I look to the resources around me for support.  Therapy, here I come!!!

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