When Friendships Fade

I have a friendship that I really enjoyed with a woman who I met in one of my many education endeavors.  I had just moved to a new state, just graduated from my MFA in actor training, and was looking for some great friendships.  Enter my friend, we'll call her "Jane".

Jane and I had many similar interests.  She is a few years younger than me, which seemed to encourage our relationship as a little bit of a mentor relationship.  Perhaps that was just my point of view.  Maybe that was why the relationship faded sadly into nothing.  Jane and I both lost a parent and that bonded us.  Well, that may have been another reason our relationship faded, for her the reminder of loosing her parent may have been too much.

Friendships come and go.  Some friendships last and some fade.  When you are not the person who ends the friendship, it can really hurt.  Well, even when you do end the friendship it can hurt.  What I'm trying to say is that letting this friendship go was hard on my heart.  Jane never said she didn't want to talk to me or end our friendship, she just stopped talking to me.  It's been almost 3 years since last we spoke.

Actions speak louder than words.  Since Jane has made it clear she doesn't want a friendship, I have to honor that in my own way.  I don't have to like it, and I don't.  If Jane every comes around to wanting to be my friend again, the road will be an interesting one to negotiate because trust has been broken.  The trust I refer to is the knowing that the person who calls herself my friend will be there for me when I need her; Jane abandoned me without warning or reason.  I don't hold a grudge, I'm sad about the way in which our friendship died.  So today I let it go fully and wish her a great life.  If she won't give me closure, I'll take it.

Copyright 2012 Heather Corwin