Getting Older Means Loss is Inevitable

When I was growing up, my best friend lived two blocks away from me.   I could call her last minute to hang out, go see a movie, or whatever.  We found ways to make everything tolerable through laughter and hanging out.  As an adult, I still want to believe that friendship can be in this form... it cannot.

Being an adult includes responsibilities like running a household, running a business, having a job, paying bills, and creating a structure to successfully manage all of these things.  That means I now have to set a time to hang out with friends - sometimes weeks out from the date - only to be disappointed because something comes up last minute (like an audition) to foil our best laid plans.

A wise woman pointed out to me that instead of focusing on the gap, or the elements I would like to have in my life, I should focus on the things I DO have in my life.  Friends don't come along every day, but I also can't force a friendship to be something I have shared with an amazing woman whom I've known since kindergarten.  History cannot be forced.  Nor can chemistry be forced.  Much the same as romantic relationships, a person cannot force love to appear.  If it comes, it comes.

I may not be thrilled with the idea that I cannot have a girlfriend I can call up anytime who will jump to hang out and chat - but I can save up to travel to meet my girlfriends at their home or at a destination of our choosing.  Since I know I want to reconnect with my friends - I will make it happen on my terms.  It's the adult thing to do!

Copyright 2010 Heather Corwin